Consummated ([info]consummated) wrote,
@ 2005-07-20 14:47:00
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Entry tags:death, fun, mockery, news, star trek

Fat, Drunken Star Trek Actor Croaks

Fat, drunken actor James Doohan, who played fat, drunken engineer Scotty in the Star Trek franchise, died today at the age of 85 from being so very fat and drunk. He was mainly known for obeying the phrase "beam me up, Scotty!", a phrase that headline writers announcing his death are happily abusing. He was often confused for fellow actor John Cleese and the whale in Star Trek IV. He is loved by similarly fat and drunken Star Trek fans, many of whom threaten to stuff their fat, drunken selves into ill-fitting costumes to attend his funeral.

In response to the news, Star Trek cast mate William Shatner released a statement claiming "first dibs" on Doohan's hair for a toupee. From his office in Seattle, Satan also released a statement promising that Doohan will be "sexually violated by Tribbles for his part in Star Trek V".

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[info]freshcutsmiles
2005-07-20 07:50 pm UTC (link)
you...are fucking awesome.
& I'm adding you.

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[info]filmgrrrl
2005-07-20 08:48 pm UTC (link)
I saw this post in another community and laughed my ass off so much that I had to come look at your other stuff. Equally brilliant. Hope you don't mind if I friend you.

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[info]bitch_city_cigs
2005-07-21 03:01 am UTC (link)
Hey, I've seen you around the LJ universe too. Add me if you want, and i'll return the favor.

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[info]bitch_city_cigs
2005-07-21 03:00 am UTC (link)
Add me back? it will make me a happy little protozoa.

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[info]consummated
2005-07-21 03:14 am UTC (link)
Done and done.

P.S. Your journal has possibly the prettiest, most elegant layout I have ever seen on LiveJournal. Granted, given the eyesores they usually are, it's not saying much. But even among blogs I've looked at, even ones from professional designers, yours stand above and beyond.

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[info]bitch_city_cigs
2005-07-21 03:51 am UTC (link)
Wow, thanks. I got it off of the System 2 style page. So I can't take credit for it's creation; simply for having good taste.

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[info]consummated
2005-07-21 04:51 am UTC (link)
Waaah? A LiveJournal layout that doesn't causes automatic eye-bleeding? Must be a new thing... And yes, you have very good taste.

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[info]prophetdarkmind
2005-07-21 04:56 pm UTC (link)
:S? what happened to respect for the dead? :S?

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[info]consummated
2005-07-21 05:17 pm UTC (link)
I give the dead the same respect they give me: none.

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[info]prophetdarkmind
2005-07-21 05:59 pm UTC (link)
let me guess not a fan? though the thing about trebbels did make me laugh :)

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[info]consummated
2005-07-22 12:56 am UTC (link)
I'm not an anti-fan either. I just like to mock death.

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[info]tearpixy
2005-07-27 07:04 am UTC (link)
A little Star Trek trivia:

Nobody ever actually said "Beam me up, Scotty" on the show or in the movies.

I know. I've seen them all.

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d
[info]trial_by_spider
2005-07-27 09:56 pm UTC (link)
I could have sworn they said Beam me up Scotty at the end of 'The Search for Spock'

Either way I remember one of the movies saying it, they just didn't put a lot of emphasis on it, it was just something in casual conversation that they said.

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[info]consummated
2005-07-28 01:58 pm UTC (link)
However, I'm sure Shatner has said "Up my bum, Scotty!" several times.

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