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Dead Baby FloatToday's news brings us a spectacular answer to an… - The Blog of Insight and Delight [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
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[Jul. 28th, 2005|09:53 am]
Consummated
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Dead Baby Float

Today's news brings us a spectacular answer to an ancient question—How do you make a dead baby float?
Two-year-old Jatama Greene of Gary was ejected about 8:45 p.m. from the truck her mother was driving on the Cline Avenue ramp from the eastbound Indiana Toll Road. ... Keisha Bethley was driving in a car behind that driven by Jatama’s mother, Jacqueline Greene, when she saw the lead vehicle lose control and strike the retaining wall on the Cline Avenue ramp. ... The baby flew from the window, Bethley said.
This brings to mind The Simpsons episode "Moe Baby Blues", where little Maggie Simpson was also launched from a car on a bridge. Luckily for Maggie, she was caught by Moe Szyslak. Unluckily for her real life counterpart, there was no syphilitic bartender to catch Jatama.

The authorities are still searching for the projectile infant, but unless she's a champion swimmer in the making, she's probably dead. While the death of one so young is tragic, the extraordinary circumstance of this death merits whimsy and humor. After all, as Modest Mouse says, "we'll all float on anyway."
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Comments:
From: bitch_city_cigs
2005-07-28 05:57 pm (UTC)
I always thought the answer was, pump it full of helium and plug up all the holes.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: mizzsmartypants
2005-10-01 01:00 am (UTC)
I thought it was put it in a glass with a scoop of ice cream and some root beer.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: (Anonymous)
2005-08-03 03:07 am (UTC)
You are one perverse chinaman! (Hubba Hubba!)
(Reply) (Thread)